WOW its been to long!

So today as I am sitting in the chair next to the window watching the rain fall I thought wow its been a long time since I've updated my blog... Well here is an update... I've been at home in Michigan for a little over a month now. Its been intersting. I've been back and forth between fremont(dads), grand haven(moms) and newaygo(sisters). I've been applying for jobs like crazy and am finally starting to have some hope about a couple. I also applied for this school thing which is exciting but not sure which road to take yet. I really miss hanging at the pool with my friends in Hawaii and wish I could be there in the sun with them... My days are usually extremely boring... I try to practice poi spinning daily. I read, watch tv, play with my nephew, look and apply for jobs-usually online, and watch the west wing... Thats pretty much my life right now... BORING... don;t get me wrong I love spending time with my nephew... he is the cutest.... Next week things get a little more interesting which I will update you on at some other point. But here is a picture of the cutest little kid... and a video of my spinning fire for the first time that I said I would post.... there is another video that I will have to post later... sorry its sideways

So I am back to the mainland now. I got to the canyon last night and it is so good to be back and to see everyone! I've missed this place a lot. Darren and Deanna picked me up from the airport wed. morning and we went and met Lacey, Drew and Whitney for a while before Lace took off for the Hawaii. It was so great to see you all. Its really hard to put into words just yet how my 3 months in Hawaii was. I am still processing through a lot. It was amazing!! to say the least!! I learned a lot about love and acceptance. I went on amazing adventures and made amazing friends. Got a tattoo and learned to spin fire... I definitely have come back a changed person. I miss everyone there dearly already! Its weird my first week there i had no idea how I would ever fit in at a place like that. How do I fit in with a bunch of hippies or the hippy lifestyle. But in the end what I learned was that I fit in just fine. Because we had the same heart and thats all that mattered. In the 3 months that I was there I was able to open my heart up so fast and let people in so fast it threw me for a loop. Over all when thinking about it the hardest yet most rewarding part of my summer came on the last day. I met with the volunteer coordinators for an exit interview and they told me -1- don't go, please stay, 2- that I was a bright light at Kalani, and my light shines brighter than most. And that right there meant a lot to me. They don't know me very well and have had maybe 3 conversations with them the whole time but for them to notice that in me-was great to hear. Not knowing that my bright light is jesus because even though it wasn't talked about they could still see there was something different about me from the way I lived my life. So that was pretty cool. My entire time there was a test of my faith and my beliefs and to come out a stronger at the end is great! So that is a little about my trip. I am in transition right now and am planning on being in the canyon for a week or 2. Then from there still not sure. I've been applying a few places and you never know if none of that works out I may be back in Hawaii soon... I will keep you updated! Hope everyone is doing great!

My last few days at Kalani were pretty hard and sad for me. I didn't really realize how much that place or the people there changed me or impacted me till I was about to leave. It's a pretty magical place. I do want to go back and visit for sure maybe volunteer again. Will see- only time will tell! One of may last days there Rachel took me to Fox's landing to this Lava tube that opens up over the ocean. It was amazingly beautiful!! It a little rough getting into it- seeing how you had to crawl on your hands and knees and squeeze through small spaces... but once you got to the end it was worth it... I will post pictures at some point . my computer is a little sick and is having troubles uploading and doing anything at a decent speed... more later!

I did it! I lit up!

No folks I didn't pick up smoking... but I did however pick up fire spinning. And I was going to light up for the first time this sunday but on a whim with Rachel decided to light up tuesday night. I am so glad I did because Sunday night has turned into my going away party and it sounds like a lot of people will be there so for my first time I wanted just a few people there. It was great because it was just Rachel, Satya, Taylor and I. I spun 3 times that night. It was one of the most amazing, exhilarating feelings I've ever felt. So much adrenaline!! I absolutely love it!!! By the third time I spun quite the little crowd had showed up. But by this time I was a little more confident. I will be lighting up again on Sunday night for my joint going away party!! I really enjoy this and plan to continue learning and spinning in the future.

Earlier on Tuesday morning I had another first. Yup, you heard right- I got a tattoo. It's really small and it says "Love out Loud". For me Love out Loud stands for a lot! I wanted to get something that symbolized my summer here and I wanted to have it done here as well.
There is a volunteer here who gives tattoo's for donation and I thought it would mean more to have someone from my Ohana do it. It took about an hour and a half. It didn't hurt really at all! I love it a lot! Your probably wondering why Love out loud... well -- Love out loud is the name of a song that has been a theme fro me this summer- but beyond that - love has been a huge theme of my summer. I've learned so much about love and acceptance! Love should be loud!

I can't believe that I only have 4 days left!! aghhhh!!! There is still so much to do! The goodbyes have already started. One of my bosses in Housekeeping Annalisa left today for vacation so I had to say goodbye to her last night and Betsy who is one of the managers here also went on vacation and I had to say goodbye to her today! I am not ready for the goodbyes... well I am off to bed.. here is one last pic. Ocean left last week and we had a surprise superhero going away for her. here is a pic of all us superheros and one of betsy, annalisa and I! Hope all is well!!

ahh one week left!

My new thing right now is spinning poi. Or fire spinning. I am not in any place to light up yet but I've been practicing everyday and I am getting pretty good for a beginner. I just started 2 wednesdays ago and I already have learned 8 tricks. Now I am just polishing them. Making them smooth and getting my planes straight. My hope is to light this sunday night at my going away party! I am super excited but at the same time a little nervous. But I will have plenty of experienced people around me to help out and to train me on fire safety. I will have to post video and or pictures after the event.
The other night I went to visit Pele again and it was the best I have ever seen. You could actually see the lava flow into the ocean! It was beautiful! I will post pictures later. My computer is being really slow and I can't really upload anything right now but when I can I will put them up!
So I can't believe that tomorrow is my last day of work already. Ahhhh... it is so crazy. I only have a week left then I will be back in Portland for a while! I am really excited about whats to come next although I don't know what that is yet! Being here has given me this new sense of drivenness.. I am realizing how much of a driven person I am-its pretty crazy. I have this new focus, vision, view on life. Its pretty great! The island is such a magical place. The energy of Pele is insane...
In my last post I mentioned how everyone was leaving and newbies were coming.. well I dropped off yet another friend at the airport this morning and around 13 of the 18 newbies are here already! Its been weird to see the change over happen so fast! I will be really sad to leave all my new friends here that will forever hold a special place in my heart! This place definitely rocked my world and opened it up. I am definitely leaving a changed person! I will write more on this in a later post because right now it is hard to put in words how I am feeling and what I've gone thorough this summer. But I can say its been amazing and I have loved my time here.. I can't wait to see all of you soon! I miss you all!

Off to Ocean's going away party- Its another superhero party! It is going to be so much fun!

Aloha!

I wish every one could wait to leave till I leave!! =:(

This is the week of everyone leaving... it's been a sad couple of days... everyone that I have become really close with is leaving this week for the most part... It started this past Friday! I brought Eliza to the airport on Friday night. She was only a one month volunteer but it seemed like she had been here longer. She is from Massachusetts and just graduated high school. She was leaving here to go to South Carolina for school.
Sunday!- I've been dreading this day. Kayo- she's been here for 2 months and worked in housekeeping with me. She is from Japan and came here to learn english. She is beautiful inside and out. It was hard to communicate with her but she is such a joy to be around. This afternoon Melissa was leaving... this is the departure I was dreading. Ever since day 1 Melissa and I connected and she was just so sweet and turned into be a great friend for me here. She is 19 and is from Vancouver, Canada... I know we will definitely be seeing each other again. it is going to be weird to not have her here the rest of my time here. We hung out quite a bit. She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside!
Mon. August 3rd.- Bernard is leaving. Bernard and I never got real close but he has always been a joy to be around!
Tuesday August 4th! Ahhh my roomie is leaving!!! Lauren is leaving to go back to Jersey/NY. She has been the best room mate ever.. Things are looking up for me to not have another room mate in my time here, but will see! Lauren is a beautiful and very wise girl! I will definitely miss her being around! Tom is also leaving this day! Tom has an amazing spirit! Always so happy! We got to spend a lot of time together recently on our Kona trip! I am going to miss his aloha! It just shines out of him! Can't wait to visit you in San Fran!
Wed. August 5th- Kylie is leaving! Kylie is this amazing person from Melbourne, Australia!!! She has taken to me as an older sister! Every morning she walks up to me and gives me a hug! She also has this amazing spirit and energy around her. I will for sure miss her as well! I am so excited to have some where to stay when I come and visit Ausie land!

Kona love

Things have been a little crazy this last couple weeks... I've been taking a lot of time by myself and trying to process through everything. I was in talks to extend here and needed to make a decision. I've been heading out on walks and just taking my ipod and processing. I've also been spending a lot of time in Hale Aloha which is the main front office down by the road that looks out over the ocean. No one really hangs out down here because of the hike but I think its peaceful. And I can process and get things done without distractions. Which is rare... I get distracted so easily! Like I mentioned in my last post Tom's friend and niece are in town and I have been spending a lot of time with them.. I went on an overnight trip to Kona with then which turned into a 3 day trip. It was such a blessing to be with them and on vacation. Kristen (Tom's niece who is my age) was a huge blessing. She knows that I am here volunteering and not making any money and she really wanted me to go away with them so she wouldn't let me pay for anything... and we stayed in this amazing resort-it was beautiful! It was right on the ocean and had an amazing pool and we just hung out and enjoyed living the rich life for a few days! It was definitely a highlight of my time here. And it was exactly what I needed to get me through the rest of my time here... very relaxing and refreshing! But the best part is that our last night there we were at this local Kona mexican restaurant and guess who walks in... Hilary Young (now Melear) and Jake. They were on there honeymoon... It was so good to see her and to just see someone that I knew from where I consider to be home! Definitely made me realize how much I truly miss Oregon and everyone there... So with this said- comes Monday morning and at our staff meeting me and a couple others where called out and asked to give our answers on whether or not we were going to extend by the end of the week. I've been gong back and forth for the last 2 weeks about this and had come to a decision but wasn't making it final yet. I think apart of me wanted to hold onto the possibility that I could stay here if nothing else worked out even though I knew that my season here is ending. But after my time in Kona I realized and came to peace about the decision that I had already made. So I went and talked to the volunteer coordinator and my boss in housekeeping and told them that although I am enjoying my time here when my time is up I will not be extending. They were bummed and told me that they would love for me to come back! So it's nice to have that option! but I am so excited for whatever is next in my journey of life... I have no idea what is next but have been going through that process as well!

Pictures are all from the resort I stayed at... the pool was 2 parts... and had a water slide...

I've just realized that its been a while since my last update. But nothing really new is going on. The last ten days has really been about me focusing on me. I took a break from taking adventures- I was getting exhausted!!! I've now recovered from that and have been hanging out with this volunteer Tom and his friends that are in town visiting. On Sunday I had the day off and I just really needed to get out of here so he offered to take me to town with him to pick up his niece and friend from the airport. So I jumped at that opportunity... It turned into a long adventure because his friend missed her flight and we were in the airport waiting for like 3 hours...His niece and I hit it off right away... I was off the next 2 days as well so have been going on trips with them. On monday we went to the Tide pools for snorkeling and hiked through the Lava tube at the park. Then yesterday I took them to Green Sands beach and south point. I knew south point was the most southern tip of the island but I never realized that it is also the most southern tip of the USA!!! So that is kinda cool... I decided to not jump off the cliff this time. Tom did though!! Today I am working and I ended up taking a vacation day tomorrow because I have friday off anyways. I am going to go on an overnight trip to Kona with Tom and his friends... I am really excited it should be fun!!!

Last saturday was Ohana night... and we had a 70's dance party!!! It was so much fun!!! Everyone looked amazing!!!

Also, these last ten days I have been really meditating and praying about whats next for me. I needed to make a decision on whether or not I wanted to extend here. I am 98% sure that I will be leaving Hawaii on August 25th and
will not be extending. I think Hawaii was a season for me and that time is coming to an end. Maybe one day I will be back...